Relationship therapist in Sheffield – Couples Therapy & Counselling

As featured in The Guardian, BBC, Stylist and Metro.co.uk, Shan Merchant is a UKCP-accredited relationship therapist offering couples therapy and relationship counselling for couples in Sheffield, and online marriage counselling across the UK.

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As seen in

Shan's work supports couples navigating conflict, emotional distance, trust issues, and the impact of affairs — helping them rebuild safety and reconnect in lasting ways.

When relationships feel strained, emotional safety is often missing

Most couples don't lose love - they lose the sense that it's safe to be open with one another.

Common experiences include:

Repeated arguments that go nowhere

Conversations turning defensive or shutting down
Affection and intimacy fading
Feeling emotionally invisible
You spend less quality time with one another
One partner reaching out while the other withdraws
Trust damaged by secrecy or betrayal
Stress around parenting, work, or finances
Loss or trauma creating distance
Living together while feeling disconnected
You feel like the trust has gone
Staying together while feeling unsure

Without emotional safety, communication often increases distance rather than repair. My work helps couples learn structured, safer ways of communicating so both partners feel heard and emotionally met.

How learning to communicate safely can help you rebuild trust and affection

When communication feels safe, partners can stay present and responsive rather than reactive.

Building safety into conversations can:

Repair trust after rupture or betrayal

•Reduce escalation during conflict
•Help each partner feel heard
•Create space for closeness and intimacy

Why Imago offers something different

Talking alone doesn't change patterns. Without structure, familiar dynamics quickly return.

Imago Relationship Therapy offers a clear dialogue couples can practise in sessions and at home:

Mirror — reflecting back what your partner has said

•Validate — showing how their perspective makes sense
•Empathise — recognising emotional experience

This structure slows conversations down, reduces reactivity, and supports repair.

What effective relationship therapy needs to focus on

Real change comes from building safety, skills, and responsibility within the relationship.

Don't settle for therapy that avoids the hard work of emotional safety

Imago Relationship Therapy is an evidence-based, structured model of couples therapy that creates emotional safety first.

Frequently Asked Questions

I work with couples because feeling safe, seen and genuinely connected are essential human needs.

Sessions last 90 minutes. Our first meeting is a 90-minute consultation.

There's no fixed number of sessions. Plan for around 12 sessions.

I don't see either partner individually during couples counselling.

Yes – provided both partners are aware and comfortable. I'll refer you to another relationship counsellor in Sheffield.

Yes. The Imago method works just as powerfully online as in person.

Signs You May Recognise

Most couples don't stop communicating when things go wrong. What changes is how safe it feels to be open, vulnerable, and emotionally present.

The same arguments repeating, even when you've agreed 'this time will be different'

Discussions escalating quickly into criticism or shutdown

Affection, warmth, or sexual connection fading

Feeling misunderstood or emotionally unsafe

One partner pursuing while the other withdraws

Trust damaged by secrecy, emotional distance, or an affair

Parenting, work, or life pressures pulling you apart

Living parallel lives under the same roof

Feeling lonelier inside the relationship than outside it

Staying together while privately questioning the future

Why Imago works when talking alone doesn't

Many couples talk a great deal and still feel stuck. Without structure, familiar patterns take over and the same arguments repeat.

Imago Relationship Therapy provides a clear dialogue structure:

Mirror

Accurately reflecting what your partner has said so they feel fully heard

Validate

Showing how their perspective makes sense from their experience

Empathise

Recognising and naming the feelings beneath the words

This structure slows conversations down and restores emotional safety. Over time, couples develop a reliable way to repair and reconnect.

Ready to take the next step?

If you'd like to explore whether this approach is right for you, you're welcome to book a free 15-minute call.

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Free · 15 minutes · No obligation