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    shan@shanmerchant.com+44 7830 343211

    Couples therapist in Leeds – Relationship Counselling for Couples

    I'm Shan Merchant, a UKCP accredited couples counsellor and Advanced Imago Relationship Therapist, offering couples therapy and marriage counselling in person from Otley in the Leeds district, and online across Leeds and the rest of the UK.

    BOOK A FREE 15-MINUTE CALL
    Shan Merchant - Couples Therapist

    As seen in

    BBC
    Stylist
    The Guardian
    Metro
    LA Weekly

    I specialise in affair recovery and Imago Relationship Therapy, working with couples who want to rebuild trust, stop the same arguments repeating and feel close again. My work has been featured in The Guardian, BBC, Stylist and Metro.co.uk.

    Couples therapy in Leeds: in person or online

    My therapy room is in Otley, about 30 minutes from Leeds and Harrogate. Couples drive to see me from across Leeds and the surrounding areas, including Ilkley, Wharfedale, Harrogate, York and the wider Yorkshire area.

    If travelling regularly doesn't work with your jobs, childcare or schedules, we can meet online by Zoom instead. Many couples combine the two, starting in person and continuing online. We can talk about what suits you on your free call.

    See How Online Therapy Works

    Affair recovery for couples in Leeds

    Discovering an affair can turn a relationship upside down. The hurt partner often feels shock, anger and a loss of trust in everything they thought they knew. The partner who had the affair may feel shame, confusion or unsure how to make things right.

    Affair recovery therapy gives you both a safe, structured place to:

    • •Understand what happened, without the conversation turning into another fight
    • •Help the hurt partner feel heard and get honest answers
    • •Understand what made the relationship vulnerable
    • •Rebuild trust step by step through consistent actions
    • •Decide, with clarity, whether and how to move forward together
    Read About Affair Recovery

    When conversations stop feeling safe, connection suffers

    Most relationships don't struggle because people stop talking. They struggle because conversation becomes charged, defensive, or emotionally unsafe.

    Couples I see in Leeds often recognise patterns such as:

    • The same arguments repeating with no real resolution
    • Criticism, withdrawal, or shutdown replacing curiosity
    • Affection, touch, or sex fading away
    • Feeling more like co-parents or housemates than partners
    • One partner pushing for closeness while the other retreats
    • Trust broken by an affair or emotional betrayal
    • Stress around money, parenting, or work spilling into the relationship
    • Stress, grief, or life changes creating disconnection
    • Living together but feeling emotionally alone
    • Staying together mainly for the children

    Many couples describe this as a communication problem. Usually you're still talking, but without emotional safety, talking pushes you further apart instead of helping you repair.

    How safe communication changes the dynamic between you

    When conversations feel safe, defensiveness softens and listening becomes possible again. Partners can stay present, even when emotions run high.

    Couple showing affection after reconnecting

    Learning how to communicate differently can:

    • •Repair trust that has been damaged
    • •Reduce escalation and reactivity
    • •Help you hear one another without blame
    • •Create space for closeness and affection

    How my work is different: Imago Relationship Therapy

    Many couples talk a great deal and still feel stuck. Without structure, familiar patterns take over. Imago Relationship Therapy gives you a clear, practical way of talking that slows things down and keeps you connected.

    Shan Merchant, specialist couples therapist

    The Imago Dialogue has three steps:

    • •Mirror: reflecting back what your partner said so they feel accurately heard
    • •Validate: showing how their view makes sense from where they stand
    • •Empathise: naming the feelings you imagine sit beneath their words

    Over time, conversations that once felt explosive become calmer, clearer and more constructive. You don't just talk more. You learn a dependable way to repair and reconnect.

    Learn About Imago Therapy

    Couples therapy fees in Leeds

    Couples sessions are £195 for 90 minutes, both in person and online. Affair recovery sessions are the same rate. Your first step is a free 15-minute call, so you can ask questions and see whether working together feels right before you commit.

    See Couples Therapy Fees

    What couples say

    Couples I've worked with describe feeling heard again, arguing less and rebuilding trust they thought was gone. You can read their own words, including reviews left on Google.

    Read Reviews From Couples

    Frequently Asked Questions

    I see couples in person in Otley, in the Leeds district of West Yorkshire. I'll send full directions when you book. I also offer online sessions for couples anywhere in Leeds and the UK.

    My couples sessions are £195 for 90 minutes, in person or online. The first call is free.

    Sessions last 90 minutes. That gives enough time to go beneath surface arguments and finish each session feeling steadier, rather than being cut off mid-conversation.

    There's no fixed commitment. Many couples plan for around 12 sessions. Recovering from an affair or long-standing conflict can take longer, so new patterns have time to settle.

    Fortnightly is typical, with weekly sessions during a crisis such as the discovery of an affair.

    Yes. Affair recovery is one of my specialisms. Many couples rebuild trust and create a stronger relationship than before, though it takes commitment from both partners. Therapy also helps couples who decide to separate do so with more understanding and less damage.

    Yes. Marriage counselling, relationship counselling and couples therapy describe the same kind of work. I work with married and unmarried couples, of any background, gender or sexuality.

    Yes. Imago Relationship Therapy works just as effectively online as in person, and suits couples with busy schedules or who live further from Otley.

    I don't see one partner individually alongside couples work, as this protects neutrality for you both.

    We can discuss this openly. If couples work resumes later, I would refer you to a different couples therapist to keep things fair for both of you.

    No. Therapy is not an emergency service. If you or anyone else is at risk, contact 999, A&E or a crisis line such as Samaritans on 116 123.

    Take the first step

    If you're in Leeds or anywhere in Yorkshire and your relationship feels stuck, hurt or distant, you don't have to work it out alone. Book a free call and we'll talk about what's happening and whether I'm the right fit for you.

    Book Your Free 15-Minute Clarity Call

    Ready to take the next step?

    If you'd like to explore whether this approach is right for you, you're welcome to book a free 15-minute call.

    BOOK A FREE 15-MINUTE CALL

    Free · 15 minutes · No obligation